things I said when I really felt like saying no

Yes, I say no. But no, I don’t always say no, exactly. Confusing, non? Yes!

It started getting drilled into me when I was teaching elementary school a few years back. As a staff, we rewrote the school rules, framing them in a positive way, much to the delight of the new-agey administration and to the disgust of the old-school staff. “No running in the hallways” became “Please walk in the hallways” and “No fighting” became “Be kind”. The idea is that kids become deaf to no-speak. It makes them feel nagged, and then they shut down. Kind of like Ginger.

Maybe I was wrong to say that dog ownership doesn’t prepare you for parenthood. But I’m off on a tangent again.

Here’s my feeble philosophy: generally, I try to reserve NO for the following three situations: aggression, dangerous behavior, and throwing food. I can’t handle the food throwing. That is my personal boundary. And you know, when I do holler NO running into traffic! Callum generally stops and takes stock (see? success!)…and then runs into traffic five seconds later (never mind).

Is the “Say No to No” campaign a classic example of failed modern parenting?

Consider the following pleas which have left my lips (and the lips of many, many other Parents Who Are Doing Their Best) with the most sugar-sweet of panicked tones:

1. The neighbor’s Mercedes is for looking, not for touching!
2. We use our hands and feet in gentle ways!
3. Rocks are for the ground, not for our mouth!
4. Please-give-Mommy-the-sharp-object-THANK-YOU!
5. When we eat, we try to keep our food on the spoon!

I hear myself, and practically cringe with embarrassment. I can hear the old ladies whispering behind my back as we pass. “That child has his (or her, since everyone seems to think Callum is a girl thanks to my continued haircut strike) mother wrapped around his (her) chubby little finger!”

So the question is, are we raising a generation of brats? An entire group of children with no boundaries who are unable to accept situations that doesn’t go their way, who are disrespectful to authority and who are unwilling to follow society’s basic rules and regulations?

For this one, I will cash in one of my specially reserved NOs. And why, you ask?

Because I said so.

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